Hi there! We're going to take a little break from the crafty world for today, and talk about something way more important :) Don't get me wrong, I'm all about the paper & glue...but I've got something to share, and I hope to be a blessing, and maybe even a little help to somebody.
I'm going to start out by saying that I was raised Baptist...IFB to be a little more specific. Even though I still attend a Baptist Church, there are a few differences. But, we can talk more about that later. I think this story begins, though, around the time I was 5 or 6 years old (I'm guessing). I remember being in a Sunday School room being led through the "Roman's Road". I honestly don't remember much about it, or even who was with me...But, it was when I made my first "Profession of Faith". Soon after that, I remember realizing that now I needed to be Baptized...so, I went forward in church, and was Baptized. Neither one of those events were encouraged by my parents (not that I recall, anyway). I think they were things that I just realized I needed to do on my own.
Fast Forward to a few years later (I'll be saying that a lot), probably about the time I was 8 or 9 (?) years old. I went forward in church again...unsure of my salvation. Again, I don't recall what was said or done. But, I do remember my mom asking me afterwards "Do you feel better?" I told her yes, because I know I was suppose to feel better...but, honestly didn't feel any different. Then I was Baptized....again.
Theeeeeen a few year later (I know for sure I was 12 this time)...I told a friend that I was once again unsure of my salvation, so we went to the pastor's office together. This one I remember the most specifically. Maybe because I was older, maybe because it's the most recent, but I think it's because of the way it affected my life. I repeated a prayer...and remember going home so devastated. I knew I needed to be saved, and I knew that wasn't the way to do it. I sobbed myself to sleep that night, praying and asking God for help. This was the experience that I was convinced was my salvation for a long time. But, as the years passed, and by the time I was in high school, I began to doubt that experience as well. So, I began to doubt everything. Obviously I've done what I am suppose to do, and it's not worked...so it must not be real. So, my years in high school were a bit bitter and rebellious.
Fast forward to a few years later (see?), we move to Michigan and start attending a church (the one I still attend now). It was the first time I ever heard things like "Easy believe-ism", and "Led in a prayer." All of the sudden things made sense to me, but now I'm bitter for a different reason. Years of being around "soul-winning", and the "Roman's Road"....and now we don't believe any of it? It was a relief in that...now I knew why I was feeling everything I had been feeling...but difficult for me because of the hard times I was having for all of those years. I just want to say, I don't blame my parents for the difficulties I had....it was a learning experience for them, too. They weren't even raised in a Baptist Church, but, it was just how I was feeling at the time. Angry. Not only that, but now I knew for sure that I STILL wasn't saved.......And so I was stuck there for a long time. Those little doubts about all of it even being real festering, not wanting to make yet ANOTHER false profession of Faith, knowing that I didn't really want any other type of lifestyle...this was all I had ever known. So, I continue going to church, and trying to live right, and floating through life.
Here's where it starts to get interesting....
Back in 2011, we went to the Creation Museum. Which, as a whole was a really neat place. But, when I got to the Bible Preservation Room.....it was awesome. It brought me to tears....How could I not believe? Fast forward through the next couple of years (there it is again!), I had several conversations with my parents. A few things that my mom said really stuck with me :"It's really not that complicated", and "Salvation is not unattainable." .....All of this brings me to last week, I can't remember which day it was, but someone had posted a list of reasons why the Bible was the Inspired Word of God. I read through it, and again was brought to tears....How could I not believe?
If you're still with me (I hope that you are!), here's the best part....Friday morning I went down to run on my treadmill. After 10 minutes of running, I slow it down to a power walk to mop myself off. I had sweat running down my face, snot issues, and really gross effects from mouth breathing (I know, pretty, right?). I keep a paper towel folded in my tank top, but it really just wasn't cutting it for all that I had going on. So, I let my mind wander about ideas to keep a towel attached to my person, so that I wouldn't have to hang on to it, maim myself, or stop all together to use it. I promise, this all has a point.......I then come up with an idea, a catchy name for it, decided I'm going to make a prototype, sell it to Nike, and become a millionaire. (Disclaimer: I don't REALLY think any of that is going to happen...just daydreamin') As I'm thinking about these things, I think to myself, "But why would God ever bless MY life like that?" And then, there He was, and He said to me "Because I love you." I said "I know." Honestly, I don't remember it word for word, but I know he dealt with my doubt, and unbelief. I remember realizing that my life was nothing without Him in it. I told him that I just wanted to serve Him with my whole heart. I asked Him for help...then I asked Him to save me, and He did :)